Our 1st Visit At The Trustee Camp

About our 1st visit at the Trustee Camp over this past weekend:

As soon as I drove onto the grounds I went through the security checkpoint and detail of showing my drivers license and opening my trunk and letting the guards look under the hood of my car. I was then directed to follow the road path to the trustee camp portion of the entire unit. It was somewhat strangely welcoming to visitors entering the parking lot outlined with shade trees.

I parked and did my routine of carrying in my coins plastic bag with my drivers license and keys and a thin blouse  just in case the rule of [not] revealing my shoulders applied here too; it did.
As soon as I was walking up to the Trustee Camp gate entrance, I could see other trustees outside walking around freely and noticeably [not] all in some tight formation with guards.

I noticed how quiet it was but the guys were just moving around like in a little community.  My eyes instantly looked to see if maybe my sweet husband Curt might be walking around. He wasn't.  I got to the gate and rang the doorbell. I waited about 2 minutes and thought maybe I didn't ring it right lol, when suddenly this female voice said kind of roughly : "Hold on!! I am coming!" Immediately I said : "Ohhh I'm sorry, it's my 1st time here..." She began to giggle and say: "Ohhh No no sweetie! I was only kidding. I am a joking kind of person...You're alright. "

I relaxed again and smiled as she let me through and escorted me to the entrance of the Trustee Camp Visitation area. It's also the main entrance to the administration area. In there I checked in with my drivers license again and went through the simple pat search procedure and noticed the lovely Texas Tech mural on the wall and inquired about the picture taking schedule. Every weekend I was told. So I paid for 1 picture.

I was then told to enter the visiting room and seat myself where I pleased! Not common practice on regular units. 10 minutes later my sweet husband Curt walked in smiling from ear to ear! He looked refreshed and just GOOD! I breathed in his cologne as we held each other a good moment and then of course his kisses made me forget where we were at lol! 10 minutes later we were called to do our picture here.

About 45 minutes into our visit I saw a man walk in- you could tell he was someone with ranking authority. Turns out it was the major who was instrumental in Curt's job placement under the warden, a trust based position at the Rudd Unit and who pulled Curt to the side and said he didn't seem to belong in there and later recommending he try to get approved for State Trustee Status etc as I mentioned before.

He came to our table and greeted my husband saying "How's it going Mr. Sowell". Then my husband said "Major, this is my wife Leann.." The major shook my hand and greeted me. We had a brief little chat of my thank you's for his discreet hand in Curt's placement on 2 units. He said: "Your husband strikes me as a good guy...all things considered. "He at one point said to me: "You made quite an impression with the staff at the Rudd Unit Mrs. Sowell. I heard nice things about you.!" He told us to enjoy our visit and left.

We enjoyed our visit so much! When I left my husband got to walk outside with me and watch me get into my car. He was saying : "Drive home safely Princess. "

It was a hugely much more relaxed setting! When I got home I walked in and the 1st thing that a dear friend here where I now live said was: "Look at you! You're glowing! " Then he hugged me :)

It's That One Percent Though

99% of the time I'm feeling great, super, or seemingly able to run life's marathon. But being human like the next person out there, there's the need for a period of a time out. I'll never ask for permission, acceptance or forced understanding of that need. Be it health issue related, stress issue related or just simple fatigue. I will and do take my time outs.

This morning I had to actually tell someone AGAIN that I need no permission for my occasional need of a time out. I went on to firmly say that unless someone is paying my bills (and trust me, no one is paying my bills... I've got that sewn up so tight) or steadily putting food on a table for me (no one does that for me either nor does anyone have to, I do that for myself with ease because that's just who I am as a person) or carrying my specific load or dealing with everything that I am dealing with personally.
..
That for ANYONE to QUESTION me about how I manage everything or anything, isn't appropriate. I reiterated that this person needs to go "Sit down somewhere and get your own self together!" I've got my own plate! 

If the worse thing that anyone can complain about me is my occasional need for a time out, then the problem is the simple minded complainer. As much as I personally enjoy having a great time with people... I'm most certainly NOT the Great Entertainer in any circle. I have quite a load on my plate. So pardon me if I cannot cater to anyone else's constant expectations of me being a always Up in air balloon of sprinkled sugar and gum drops! Lol!

This morning my husband said: "There will always be that one percent of people who are always going to expect from you more than they themselves are ever even willing to give you in the area of simple understanding alone. Shake them off Princess and keep on doing your own best to cope with what we are going through. It's almost over baby. " 

While the rest of the world turns, I am turning with it! Only my greatest burden isn't the scores of a football game, money matters, or a good or bad day at work. My husband is in the penitentiary and our lives have been majorly uprooted on so many levels.

I am not always going to be able to float across the air all starry eyed and chipper. So Time Out... it's my way to rinse and do what I need to do for me! We are never ever any good to anyone else if we're not good to ourselves FIRST! 

Only a small minded, self-centered person would have a problem with this

The Sponge People

Lol!!! I have been reflecting and meditating on something my husband Curt has been gently reminding me to stay on my toes about. He calls them the "Sponge People".


What does he mean by sponge people??

* People who are really [only] genuinely interested in what they can get out of you! Most commonly in the monetary sense.

* People who only contact you, smile greatly at you when they want something from you.

* People who will pinch every penny [they have] but dare to expect you to come off of your own pennies...and they think you are too [sweet-nice-gullible] to even see the trend.

* People who are truthfully [stingy] by [nature]. 

Once he said: "Aww Princess... I left my baby in a sea of sponge people." 

My reply: "Ohhh but I can handle this problem [anytime] I choose to toss out a STALE SPONGE Baby! LOL!"

You can underline, explain over and over in both a gentle way or an occasionally abrasive way too to these Sponge People the thing about boundaries and or the simple philosophy of moral decency in engaging others as you'd like to be engaged. And well, some folks STILL don't get it!

Why?? Because there REALLY are Sponge People!! I know this now... And I know it more profoundly since my sweet husband Curt left.

How do you/I best handle the Sponge People: That is simple really.
I handle them often like one would handle a horse. And I am not your experienced equestrian I promise you that!

But you don't have to be an equestrian to know how or when to pull on the reins. I am [always] in control! Add a little bit of patience and a sharp eye on the BIGGER picture...And strategy. I am a [very] strategic person!

I meditate on the little blips along my path and meditate enough to also know that I would rather [teach] someone the error of their own ways with me while there is still [time] to do so. People taking people's kindness for granted is a major turn off to me. So are people who clearly take advantage of others...even in the smallest way.

Sponge People come in the form of either friends or family unfortunately. But I am a firm believer that every dog has it's day-ok well, not dog. The Sponge People... One day they will truly be in NEED and the very people they should be able to turn to are going to hide from them- The Sponge People.

Behind every moment of adversity two things are going to happen; there's a lesson and a blessing. But you have to ride through the adversity to get to the lesson and the blessing.

So I received these beautiful 2 letters in the mail from my sweet husband Curt today. All I could do was smile inside and out because I have seen this sweet husband of mine making major strides in his personal development as a man; My Man" across the years and then this situation that we've been navigating through together for some time now, he continues to be and focus on being such a GREAT and humble husband. He was baptized at our church before he turned himself in to face all of this. He is a praying man! A gentle-natured but strong man too! I cherish these letters as these are another way that we can continue to grow together

This set of circumstances has only brought us closer to each other. Thank you God for your GRACE in the times of Adversity. #ForBetterOrWorse